


Red Flags and Long Nights

by theClassyFangirl



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BAMF Haruno Sakura, Character Growth, Developing Relationship, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Heavy Angst, Kakashi Needs a Hug, Night Terrors, Possessive Hatake Kakashi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sakura Needs a Hug, Self-Doubt, Self-Reflection, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Trauma, first time heartbreak, no beta - we die like shinobi, semi canon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:08:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25662625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theClassyFangirl/pseuds/theClassyFangirl
Summary: Before the war, Sakura spent so many nights on the floor with scrolls around her and bruised skin. She tried so hard not to be left behind. And then the war happened - she used her newfound power and for the briefest moment in time, felt so powerful.It's been a week since the war ended, and now she has to deal with the aftermath and heartbreak for the first time.Kakashi just happens to be on a similar path.
Relationships: Haruno Sakura/Hatake Kakashi
Comments: 40
Kudos: 160





	1. Red Flags

**Author's Note:**

> This story picks up after the 4th war, like a week later. I play loose and fast with canon details - so no judgment. I try to keep characters' personalities canon but sometimes it slips for plot purpose. 
> 
> This is not beta'd - we die like shinobi! 
> 
> Feed the author's soul and leave a comment.

"Sakura-chan. I'm sorry," my eyes can't even face him; instead, I do what I always do when my emotions have reached their limits. I revert to childish behavior. I let anger fill me. 

"Shut up!" I scream at him even though he acknowledged me. _Even_ though he said my name like he use to, with the honorific added. 

"Just... shut up!" and that anger licks down my face with wet streaks left behind.

"I'm sorry," he tells me again, his voice slightly louder, making me listen to him. I keep my eyes focused on the ground between him and Naruto, chakra flowing from my hands into his and Naruto's arms. 

Their bodies bloody and broken next to me, surrounding me in their guilt, love, victory, and loss. 

I cave and finally zero my gaze on him, "Sorry... Sorry for what?"

"For everything," his words trigger something so raw inside me that I lash out, "You should be! You idiot!" 

I watch his eyes close with a slow, steady heartbeat and a lingering smirk as if he was a child again. As if everything is forgiven now. I glance over to Naruto, who is already unconscious. 

Pushing my emotions back down to the pit of my stomach, I concentrate on just healing their wounds - close their skin back together, and clot the bleeding. Replenish them enough to make it back home. 

"I'm so tired of being here," I whisper for no one to hear, left behind, and only fit for healing. _So tired of being in this position._

Kakashi is in the background, his eyes lingering over us like we are his students again, and this is just some C rank mission. As if we are team seven still, but we aren't and never will be. 

* * *

It's been only a week since the war ended, and Kakashi is to be made Hokage. He evades it and leaves Tsunade in command even though half the village talks against her and half praises her. It's easy for those civilians and higher-ups to cast their judgment without ever taking a life or fighting to save one. 

Just because the war is over doesn't mean peace is automatic. The nations are fragile right now, and there aren't enough resources to spare for one to even try to take on another one. So many shinobi died, and there is no resurrection jutsu this time to bring them back. All that remains is just death, broken villages, and tarnished children's minds who did survive the war battlefield. 

Tomorrow is the gathering for those who died in our village, more names to add to a headstone, and more black and white photos to stand silently in front of. 

Looking at the large stone with so many shinobi names already on it, names from the beginning, names I don't know, and names I do know. I was naive to think that we ever had peace as a child. No, what we had was a cold war. A cold war that wasn't lit with fire till Madara was ready to come out and play. 

"Sakura-chan." I turn around to greet a singular charcoal eye and a mop of silver hair. A navy blue ninja headband hanging over a left eye with a mask forever pulled up and over his nose. I wonder why he still covers that eye; he no longer has the Sharingan to hide? 

Maybe he isn't ready to accept it; it was a part of him for so long. And now that reputation, that name, "Kakashi of the Sharingan" is stripped away. It's only a matter of time before word spreads of that; now, he is just a shinobi who was once ANBU. _To me, he is still powerful; he is still the man who saved me._

Naruto, while in sage mode, did something unexplainable during the war. He grew an eye from nothing in Kakashi's vacant eye socket after Madra ripped out the Sharingan. 

"Kakashi Sensei." I greet him with a fake smile. If Sai were here, he would comment on it. 

"Not anymore," he tells me, hands in his pockets trying to look so casual. I ignore that twinge of pain in his voice, I've got my own emotional wounds to heal without digging into someone else's. 

"How's the eye?" I ask quickly, changing the topic. 

"Normal," he says with a hint of melancholy. I can't imagine having something taken away like, something he carried for almost two decades, something that belonged to someone so precious. Even if that person betrayed him in the end and helped cause all this death surrounding us. It was still apart of him in the end.

Something about his presence feels different; it has me studying him. There is a pressure surrounding him that I didn't notice before. I focus on it, the medic part of my brain taking over. 

"I'm leaving tomorrow night. After the gathering." 

My attention moves from trying to study him to process his words.

"Avoiding what the village needs of you right now?" I ask him, curious about what his excuse will be. It's not like him to ignore the needs for our village, and that worries me.

"The village is safe with Naruto and Sasuke. Tsunade needs to finish her peace talks between the nations while they are fragile and not intent on attacking each other."

Something in how he says it so casually to me ignites a quick temper inside me. My fingers curl into a fist, nails biting into the palm of my hands, "Sasuke is in prison for his crimes against us, Naruto is just starting to heal - they both are missing an arm!" 

The words seeth out my mouth at him with as much passion as I can muster without falling apart. 

His one showing eye widens at my harsh tone, but as soon as he exhales the next breath, the visible skin on his face just relaxes with no crease to be found. "This isn't about anyone but me. I'm leaving." and with that, he flickers out of my sight. It's something I see only ANBU do and a few others. 

"Alone, again," I tell no one but myself. I try to remember a time when Kasashi was ever really my sensei. When he last taught me something? Before the chunin exam, after it, the hunt for the Akatsuki, before Pain - it was always another team or the boys - never me. 

_Just the one time, in the forest for a few days - basic genjutsu. Survival training._

Always left behind, ignored for someone else, or just another solo mission. I stay a while longer, memorizing the vast stone of "heroes," what Konoha calls their most faithful warriors who were killed in action. I wonder, though, how many names weren’t added? Names of people who weren't considered "heroes," by the old ways. Shinobi’s like the White Fang. 

Night finally creeps over me, and my own body protests at its hunger and my lack of feeding it. 

* * *

Sitting at Ichiraku Ramen without Naruto feels vacant. Teuchi smiles sweetly at me as he places the seaweed on top of my dish before handing it over the small counter. The blonde dobe is still recovering at the hospital, his room filled with gifts from all over the nations. He's known as the war hero. 

"Thank you," I tell him softly, the smell of his ingredients welcoming me with a bit of comfort for a moment. Chopsticks steady in my nibble fingers, I notice how they feel different now against my skin. My fingers' tips are no longer soft and pure; instead, hardened skin layers have built up in certain spots. 

But it was these hands that had enough grace to slice Naruto's chest open and make his heart do my bidding. I can still remember the feel of it, the heaviness of it in my palm, too large as it nestled between the gaps in my fingers and how utterly wet and dead it felt. 

I don't feel it but hear it, the snap of the wooden chopsticks in my fingers. It's enough to have Teuchi look back over at me, "Sorry." I reply with a fake smile, and he just smiles while handing me another pair. 

"Sakura." a solemn voice occupies the space next to me, I look over to see onyx eyes, just as blank as ever with beautiful pale skin. He's not presenting his fake smile like usual, just looking as miserable as I feel inside. 

"Sai. Do you want to join me?" I ask him, and he gives a simple nod. 

"I will take what she has," he says stiffly. 

"Coming up!" Teuchi voices boisterously like always, turning around to start on the order.

"Will you be there tomorrow?" he questions me. There is a hollowness under his eyes, marred bruising that is starting to fade. I see more of that bruising as it peaks around his neck, where the shirt's high collar gives view. 

He was struck in the war, full force up close by Madara. The flames that burned his skin in some spots I made sure had wholly disappeared; they were shallow enough as he was quick enough to use his personal jutsu to help take the brunt of it. I had refused to leave him scared physically; he needn't match his mental scarring. 

I study his eyes for a moment before answering, "Yes, those were our fellow shinobi's. We need to pay them respect."

"Oh.. in the root, there was no such thing," his words hit me, and it makes me take note that I barely know him outside of our time together and that damn book of his. 

"You can come with me," I assure him with a real smile, he gives one back. Teuchi slides his dinner in front of him. 

"I'm sorry about Sasuke," he tells me quickly before averting his eyes to the ramen bowl. My feelings for the last Uchiha are twisted, pulling my guts, heart, and head in different directions that makes me sick. I can't sort those feelings, nor do I want to acknowledge them at the moment. 

It breaks me though, knowing he is caged up, with one arm, chakra repressed and bound in so many jutsu by Tsunade that a low-level chunin could kill him. I can only take solace that both Tsunade and Kakashi have promised me, swore to me, that the ANBU team assigned to him and Ibiki would keep him alive. 

"It doesn't matter. How are you feeling? I didn't know the hospital was releasing you today?" I question him. Our little makeshift hospital was barely holding on, so much of our village has been damaged between Pain and the war. 

"My chakra levels are sufficient, and I'm capable of protecting myself," he says stiffly. He came to me the night the war ended. He was crumbling apart and would let no one touch him, to heal him but me. So I did, and then we just tried to take comfort in being alive.

He is still angry at himself for not being a war hero, but he was in his own way. He confessed to me that night; he wasn't built for war; he was made for shadow work and assassinations.

"You are capable of protecting us." I quip back to him, hand forgoing my chopstick and reaching under the countertop, squeezing his thigh tightly with reassurance to leave no room for argument. 

Those large black eyes of his look over at me with a sharp gaze I only saw in the night we shared after the war. For a split second, a fire licks up my stomach at the memory before he smiles innocently. That heat is extinguished as quickly as it started as I snatch my hand back and promptly latch back onto the chopsticks. 

"I'm sorry, Sakura," he tells me quickly. He knows what he did, maybe out of condition from the root? He let it slip once he was trained for honeypot missions as well. It's disgusting; he's my age, which meant he was so much younger. 

"It's fine." And it really is. 

"I'm not Sasuke," and I understand what he is hinting at. _I won't lead you on and crush you like him - Sasuke_ . _You're my teammate. I won't hurt you._

"A shinobi's body is a tool for the village, and I'm still working on social communications. They are rather different from my life in the root," he says passively, looking into his ramen. Maybe he is embarrassed at the heat he gave me in those eyes? 

"Your body isn't a tool. Your body belongs to you." I assure him, and we eat the rest of our dinner in silence


	2. I'm okay till I'm not okay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura reflects and breaks - it won't be the last time either. Kakashi gives her a chance to start a new path in life.

It's early, and the streets of my village are so still you would think no one was up. 

We are up, though, just dressed in proper black with no weapons, no ninja headbands - only humans struggling to get through the day, at what the purpose of the day is. 

The funeral of many. 

Naruto and Sai are next to me, Ino is on the makeshift stage behind the white flowers with black and white photos of the freshly dead shinobis from the war. She looks unsteady and lifeless, but Shikamaru has her, I know he does. His body is so poised with arms crossed, and a metal lighter held tightly between his fingers. He doesn't hold her hand. He wants her to look headstrong. Instead, he stands close enough for her to lean on him if she stumbles or falls - he's her rock, her teammate. They are heads of their clans now, pictures of their fathers in front of them. 

Not even 18 years old, and the weight is already there — this life of a shinobi.

Hanabi stands behind Neji’s picture on the stage; her clan eyes do not indicate her emotions. Hinata is with her father further down from my team in the crowd. Eyes telling every motion she has running through her - fear and sadness of death and so lost right now. Kiba is next to her, and it's alarming to see him without his war paint - no red marks on his face and so very still and quiet. He hovers near her, to help her if she needs him, his teammate. 

This is what Kakashi meant all those years ago in the bell test. 

Teamwork, teammates - they are our lifeblood, bonds that carry us in this world well after the battle. 

There is a soft smell of earthy wood and the comforting buzz of soothing heat from one Chidori user. _My captains._

I can taste the aura of their chakras, so distinct as the two individual men are. Kakashi's, though, still bothers me - it's his chakra, troubling in how it flows now, thrumming so much higher, almost painfully than before the war. 

My team is almost complete - just Sasuke is missing. Then again, he has been missing for so long before coming back. I can't remember what it feels like to be a whole team anymore.

Naruto stirs next to me and almost loses balance with his missing arm, but Kakashi is there to steady him and straighten him - he's always there to save us when we need it the most. 

I look at Naruto as his lips slip into a wide smile with closed eyes and a nervous chuckle on his tongue. Yamato moves to the other side of him, boxing him next to me to help him feel more secure. He's still weak; half his chakra depleted. He's just now learning to balance his new weight. Today he’s been only released from the hospital for just this event and under my care. 

Kakashi gives a light chuckle behind us, mumbling "my students," in that lazy tone. It makes me smile, even Yamato was under him in ANBU. He may not have trained me as a real sensei should have, but he cared for me and saved when I needed him. He is precious to me. 

* * *

After the gathering, Sai and I walked Naruto back to the hospital. However, without fail, he demanded we eat at Ichiraku first. So here we are with our blonde one-armed hero nestled between us, just _like old times._

"Naruto, let us help you," I sigh after watching him for the fourth time as he pouts with noodles falling between the chopsticks back into the bowl below before reaching his mouth. 

The corner of his mouth ticks up, and he lets out a sincere laugh. 

"I will let Sakura feed you noodles this time. I believe last time when I attempted, you didn't like that," Sai said plainly with his weird smile and closed eyes. 

"Yeah, Sakura-chan, this time!" Naruto says too energetically, which has me rolling my eyes. "Sai can feed you the broth," I tell him pointedly so that he doesn't get his way. _You're an idiot. You still don't know what love is, yet you already love someone, and it’s not me you dobe - you just don't know it yet._

"But Sakura-chan," he whines playfully, which has me wanting to smack him; instead, I turn his swivel chair to face Sai, who already has the spoon ready to place in his mouth. It's so ridiculous and has my heart humming in love. 

_I love these idiots. I would fight for them, die for them._

* * *

Naruto and I walk the last few blocks back to the hospital alone, Sai already heading back to his own home with a promise to see Naruto in a few days. 

My make-shift team eating dinner together was something we needed, filling a void in all of us since the war ended. It was real laughter and smiles with Naruto spinning between Sai and me as we feed him. Naruto loved it, the attention, the bonding, just having us there with him. 

"Naruto," I whisper his name, coming to a stop. Naruto halts his movement with a little shuffle to regain balance as he turns to face me. 

"Have you seen Sasuke?" I ask timidly, but brave enough to look into those blue eyes. I watch him pause for a moment before the answer.

"Yes." 

"Oh... Is he okay?" I ask, filling the pit of my stomach fallout at finally asking someone out loud about him. 

"He's recovering. He's fine, Sakura-chan. I promise you. We finally brought him home." 

"I know.. but is **_he_ ** our Sasuke?" I question him with a nervous tongue. Many people don’t know the Sasuke we had, on silly D and C rank missions, our training time between them, and the shenanigans we pulled together to see Kakashi’s face and so many other things. 

"Yes." he retorts back swiftly and sound, leaving no room for no confusion. "He asked about seeing you." And that statement gives my breath pause, and I feel stupid, so quickly falling back into the status of the 13-year-old girl who loved a boy. 

"Maybe granny will let you see him." he hums out loud. 

"Yeah, maybe." 

"Do you still love him?" His question hits me, and I'm not sure how to answer it because everyone knows I've been in love with Sasuke for so long, but no one has ever asked me point-blank. So do I? 

"A women's heart is a fickle thing," I tell him indecisively, to not honestly answer the question. 

"You told me that, before the war." The way he says it almost breaks me. I said those words to him when I lied to him about being in love with him before the war, to keep him from going after Sasuke so I could shoulder the weight myself. 

"It was wrong of me," I reply softly, feeling ashamed and averting his gaze. However, he doesn't let it phase him; he crowds me as he brings his one arm around my body, pulling me up against his chest. 

It's his touch that breaks me emotionally. I haven’t cried since the war ended. 

Not Sasuke apologizing while laid out bloody and beaten in front of me. Not my night shared with Sai. Not my conversation with Kakashi the other night or even today's ceremony. 

No, it's Naruto and his unyielding heart of love that crushes me under the weight of everything built upon me. 

I just cry. Nothing poetic about it. Nothing life-changing. Just a girl crying over a broken heart on the shoulder of her best friend. 

"Sakura, it's okay not to love him anymore. It's okay if you don't forgive him," it's how he says my name, without the affectionate "chan," I know he that he means it, that he understands my strung out feelings. 

"He tried to kill me twice!... And you! How can you just forgive him so easily?!" I ask firmly into his chest, and his response is to squeeze me tighter.

These are the words that have been sitting at the front of my mind. Words I've only said to myself and not out loud much less to someone else. 

"Sasuke didn't kill those who didn't matter. We matter, we are his bonds, and he wanted to end them. He thought that was his only path for greater power, the Uchiha clan curse. If he breaks emotionally, then he can awaken the raw power of his eyes. But it's okay; I beat that path out of him," his voice gives way to a soft laugh at the end as he keeps hold of me. 

I press my face harder into his chest, the material of his top getting soaked at this point from me. He doesn't seem to care, though.

"Naruto, Tsunade is looking for you. I suggest you head back to the hospital before she finds you and personally gives you a sponge bath - one that isn't fun." a mature voice sneaks up behind me. 

"Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto perks up in that loud annoying voice, still keeping me pressed against him. I gather my wits and straighten up, scrubbing my eyes harshly with rough fingers to clear any trails of tears.

"ANBU will take you," Kakashi says to him as I keep my back to him. 

"Later, Sakura-chan." Naruto gives me a reassuring wink. "Have fun on your travels, Kakashi-sensei!" _How does Naruto know he’s leaving? Was I the last to know?_

A few shinobi flicker in with their white porcelain mask in place, and just as quickly, they are gone with Naruto in tow. 

"Sakura-chan," Kakashi says my name with a bit of mirth, which bubbles a small smile on my face as I turn to face him. 

"Well, I'm leaving the village in your skillful hands. Try to keep your teammates in line but also be patient with them. One Tsunade is enough," he tells me with skin crinkling around his right eye. It's how I know he is grinning behind that mask. 

"Don't talk to me about patience," a tinge of anger licks up my spine, and I have to stomp it down. I was patient while everyone left me behind. For three whole damn years, I was without my team and sensei. 

"Perhaps be selfish then? Or go see Sasuke, I can take you if you want before I leave?" he asks me as he moves in closer to me, hands in his pockets like normal. His prominent silver hair defying gravity like always, but it seems longer? The ends are almost falling to the side, trying to way it down. 

"You need a haircut." I deflect because even I don't know how I feel or what I want at the moment. Sasuke will be imprisoned for the next several months for his war crimes at the minimum while they figure out what to do with him. And that includes all the nations.

"I heard the ladies like long hair, even read it in a book," he quips back to me, allowing me to deflect. If anyone understands emotional baggage, it's him. 

"Reading it in an ecchi book is not a reliable source. Just let me cut it before you leave." 

"You know, you could travel with me. See new places and learn new things." He flat-out asks me, and I'm taking back a bit. _But I'm the one who is always left behind. I don’t get invited to come._

"Why now? Why not then, when I was your student?" I question him, trying to gauge his expression before he answers to see if I can spot a lie. 

"I was not suited for you; you were young and so bright. Tsunade was the right choice." and there is no lie in his words. It doesn't mean it was the right thing to do, though. I wait a second before answer, keeping that anger at bay and just letting honesty take over. 

"You both could have taught me, but you left, just like Naruto and Sasuke." 

"You had a legendary sannin. I was just a retired ANBU." 

"You're more than that, and you damn well know it!" I let my frustration tick off of my tongue towards him. 

"Who knows, Sakura-chan," he replies so casually, hand reaching up to ruffle his hair at the back of his head. Never one to be phased by my temper when directed at him. 

"Well, I'm off. I will see you around," he lifts a hand to wave goodbye, and it hurts. Hurts like when Naruto left to train, when Sasuke left me on the bench, or when this man himself left to go back on ANBU and S rank missions while I trained under Tsunade. 

"Wait." I pitch my voice at him, his one showing eye widens at me. 

"I'm coming with you," I say to him before thinking, just impulse.


	3. Running on a Broken Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura is more broken than she thinks. Kakashi takes a punch but gives out dango.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The angst is real in this chapter! You have been warned. Also thank you for all the kudos, bookmarks, comments - they mean so much to me!!!

Moving through the village, I can feel the upbeat of my heart. It’s almost relentless as I go to the main gates. I don’t see Kakashi and relief floods me but also anger. It’s an uneasiness of wanting to stay behind the safety of the village gates where I know I am needed and useful - the hospital; however, the restless of leaving the village to be on a mission again and proving my worth, all that pain I went through under Tsunade. I want to feel powerful again. 

But did he leave without me? Did he change his mind that quickly? Am I that disposable of that he would rather travel alone than without a medic at the very least? Does he think so lowly of me, that I would be no use? 

Collecting this anger makes me aware, maybe I do need to leave the village? Perhaps the hospital isn’t where I belong regardless of its familiarity? 

“Sakura-chan.” Kakashi’s voice rubs up the back of my spine as I turn around to greet him.  _ When did his voice ever sound so low and smooth? Or has it always and I never noticed?  _

“Kakashi - se - ..” my greeting dies on the tip of my tongue as he wags his finger at me to stop. 

“No Sakura-chan .. just Kakashi,” he says with a hidden smile behind his mask. 

“Fine, Kakashi,” I reply with maybe a little too much bitterness. I’m not aggravated, it's just unnatural not to call him my sensei. 

“So polite.” The words are so clear behind his mask with a twinge of indication that he is speaking to me like a child, and he is rewarding me, but there isn’t anything innocent about it. It has my full attention.  _ Is he flirting with me? _

“Ready to leave?” I quip to him, ignoring whatever it was he just did. 

“Yes, we are going to head west first.” 

“What’s in the west?” I ask him, but he just casually walks by me towards the gate and glances back to say, “ You will see.”

* * *

The first few hours of running through trees were exhilarating, feeling everything in my legs lighting up at being pushed again. Kakashi doesn’t move slow when he doesn’t want to. Keeping pace with him seems easy enough, though, but it gives me a chance to study him again with him being in front. 

It’s the aura around him again, like little heat waves snapping fingers with the sound of chakra popping. I don’t see it, but I can feel it and hear it when I concentrate. There is something so unfamiliar about him now. I noticed it for the first time the day before the village funeral. 

Whatever it is, it’s seeping through his chakra pathways, almost over-fueling them dangerously. It worries me to some degree; maybe when we stop, I can do a full scan on him. I don’t think he ever checked into the hospital after the war or hell, even after dying and returning to the land of the living when Pain invaded us. He’s stubborn like that, just like most men in my life. 

“What is it, Sakura?” he speaks to me, interrupting my thoughts. 

“Ah.. just pondering something,” I tell him honestly.

“And what is my favorite ex-student pondering?” his movements slow for a moment, allowing me to move side by side with him. 

“That’s funny; I don’t see Naruto or Sasuke here.” I rail at him; he ignites this anger so quickly in me now. I don’t know why it affects me now; it didn’t then. It did hurt then, but I never lashed out at him over it. I wonder how much of the war will continue to change me for the better and the worse.

“So mean, Sakura-chan..” he teases me, but I’m having none it. 

“Nothing you haven’t seen before.” 

“So tell me what is making you think? Regretting leaving the village already?” he asks, a little less playful now. 

“Ready to abandon me again, so quickly?” I fire back, watching his face blanch at my words. He gives me a guilty look with that one visible eye.

“Saku - “ 

“So how much longer do you want to keep moving before we stop?” I deflect because I’m not ready to have that conversation. 

“Just a few more hours, there is a lovely hot spring I found two years ago at a hidden Inn,” he says, avoiding the  _ almost  _ conversation as quickly as I kicked it to the side. 

“Hidden Inn, eh? Yamato treated us to one on our first mission together. It was to help us bond but also so he could plant tracking devices on us. You plan on doing the same?” He keeps his pace next to me but focuses his eye ahead, and I avert from further looking at him. 

“Ah.. piece of a wooden clone?” And at his question, I give off a light chuckle because it shouldn’t surprise me that he knows how he did it, “Yes. I guess you guys never stop being ANBU, even with your team.” 

“Well, I may have had a hand in that. Sai was the target.” The mention of Sai’s name burns me. He is so precious to me, and I don’t like the fact he was a target back then by his own village. Yet, was I that welcoming to him in the beginning? I bruised his skin several times. I’m ashamed of it now. But embarrassed or not, it doesn’t stop me from being angry.

“And look how great that turned out. Do you even know what Sai has been through?”

“I was ANBU too, Sakura, and I know exactly what happens in the shadows,” his voice rattles through me, a wash of seriousness that is rare to see in him. 

“You weren’t Root.” I stand my ground and dare him to say something back. He doesn’t; instead, he moves faster and I barely see him as I push myself harder to keep sight of him. 

This is his actual speed, his real ninja speed. Just as quick and deadly as when he weaves signs. It’s frightening that even for all the power I gain, he still trumps me. 

* * *

It’s another two hours of running through the trees and barely keeping up with my old sensei and every muscle in me aches. 

Catching the flash of silver hair darken by shadows as he turns into the woods more off the beaten path below us, I make pursuit and find a very well hidden Inn. 

As soon as our feet hit the ground, I feel like I could collapse, and every muscle in my legs is pulled taut and ready to break. I stagger to walk behind Kakashi, but things aren’t working correctly. I stumble and feel gloved hands clap against my shoulders, holding me upright. It’s not the first time he caught me like this; I look up to his face as he holds me.

Just one grey eye staring down at me with a bit of irritation and coldness. Maybe I was to mean earlier?

I gather my bearings and force myself to stand up on my own, this time pushing past him and leaving him behind as I walk into the entrance of the Inn. 

We make our way to our rooms; they are next to each other. I slip my key into the lock and can feel the aura of him cage up behind me. 

I put on a fake smile and turn to face him, the familiar feel of chakra encasing my fingers. His expression is less harsh, with his eye almost averting mine. A hand already buried in his hair behind his head, like a guilty tick. 

“Sakura, I’m so -” I don’t even let him finish as I aim straight for his covered eye. I rein in my power and don’t let loose completely. There is a bit of crunching sound and a hard slam of his body hitting the wall. 

He doesn’t see it coming, or maybe he does, and he just lets me? 

“No, now you can say you’re sorry, you asshole.” 

Before I can register the groan coming from him, I’m inside my room with the door slammed shut and locked. 

Sitting on the edge of the bed, I can feel the bedding give slightly under my weight. It gives off a slight noise. The room is clean, though, smells clean and even fresh like the windows had been left open. 

I let my fingers run softly on the comforter; it’s soft enough but used. The place itself is beautiful, but it’s also for pleasures without onlookers. I eyed a few women approaching men with sweet smiles and delicate touches.

I’ve been in shittier places on missions, and to be fair, this place isn’t horrible. I think back to being cramped with Naruto and Sai in those worse places while looking for Sasuke. 

“Sasuke.” His name falls off the tip of my tongue, filling me with a sense of conflict and strong emotions. I think of his last words to me. 

_ “I’m sorry… for everything.”  _

Those words still haunt me; so does his red eye. Being trapped inside the redness of pain between black markings as they slowly closed in on me with his genjutsu blanketing me in complete death. 

I can still hear the chirping sound of his chidori and feel it burn through my flesh. His hand laced with all that power shoving my heart out of my rib cage like he was freeing a bird in a cage. The irony doesn’t slip past me either on it. Phantom pains still cling to me when I close my eyes.

I gave him my heart, and he broke it, physically -  _ even if it was just under genjutsu  _ \- and now I’m broken and just as fucked up as him.

Maybe that’s why I left without seeing him? I’m afraid of him, I think. I’ve become fearful of the one person who I gave my heart too. 

A person that was only saved through war but not until a person ripped that godforsaken chidori arm off his body? So what does that say about me and how freely I gave my heart to this person? He still had it, even after he tried to kill me the first time. 

_ I don’t want him to have it anymore, though. How do I get it back? _

I can feel these raw emotions ravaging me quietly with silent tears. My fingers grip the used, cleaned sheets while I struggle to stay silent in my cries.

I choke back on the sob building in my throat and clutch the sheets harder; my eyes are like waterfalls now. 

Five minutes pass and my sobs are softer but eyes no less wet. I almost miss the pronounced knock on my wall behind the bed. I know it’s Kakashi in his room. He rattles it off again; it’s a code. Something Yamato taught us during our travels, it’s learned by the ABNU. 

_ Are you okay? Tap once.  _

I’m frozen, though. I don’t move to tap back.

_ I’m tired of needing to be rescued and by him - again.  _

I feel the swell in my heart starts to gain traction, and this time there is nothing silent about my cries. 

He taps again. I can’t move. I cry harder. 

He taps again. It’s something different. 

_ Breathe, please. _

I’m choking on my own breath now, and everything seems spotty in my visions. Years of anguish crush me and break me down on a level I haven’t experienced yet. Kakashi doesn’t tap anymore, and I’m highly aware of my need to hear it again like an anchor to hold me in reality. 

Ten minutes pass, and there is heavy rap on the door to my room, followed by the shuffle of heavy feet walking away. 

With what little dignity I have left, I open the door to find two dango sticks neatly laid on a plate and a napkin with a horrible drawn face with one eye covered and equally as lousy handwriting. It says, “It’s okay. And I’m sorry.” 

A grin eats at my face as I grab my sweets and crawl into bed. I pause for a moment and tap on the wall behind me. - _I'm okay. Thank you._

He taps back to me - _Sleep._


	4. Are We Okay, Now?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura and Kakashi try to find their footing again in this new undefined friendship as they travel together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for all your support on this!!!! All the comments, kudos, bookmarks, and subscribes are so welcoming! They do feed the writer's soul! Remember - no beta, we die like shinobi!
> 
> Also, I know Sakura came off bratty in the last chapter; however keep in mind, she is only 18 and experienced her first war, first heartbreak, and has self-doubt and separation issues. So with her quick temper and being that young, it's expected behavior even if the war did make them grow up fast in other aspects. But she is getting better!!!

Knocking softly on his door, I wait for Kakashi to answer it. I know he hears me; he isn't a light sleeper, ninja's never are. And he's been one long before I was born. 

I knock again and roll my eyes at his lack of response. 

"I have salt broiled saury," I bait him, but it's true I do. I know it's his favorite. It's my own screwed up attempt to apologize for my bratty behavior yesterday, even if he was an asshole for using a traveling speed he knew I would struggle to keep up with. 

He answers the door with sluggish behavior dressed in a white robe. 

I feel impish when I see the bruising on his skin under his left eye, both deep grey eyes on display. As always, his mask is perfectly in place, and he looks silly with it while wearing a robe. 

"Hhmmm… my favorite, what a surprise." His voice is lazy and carefree as he pulls the plate of food from my hand. 

"How's your face?" I ask genuinely as guilt eats at me. 

"Nothing the hot spring can't fix." 

"Let me...please," I ask pleadingly, my usual bravado left behind with my dignity in my room from last night. I want to fix him, make it right for my anger last night. 

He turns away from me, and I hold my breath for him to say no, but it doesn't come. He sets down the plate of food on a small table in the corner of the room. He props himself in the single chair by it.

"Close the door Sakura." and I flinch at the lack of the honorific he normally uses.

I shut the door with a soft click and try to regain some control back over my emotions and put on a smile before turning around.

I move over to him, bringing my hand up to his face. He catches me off guard though, his fingers clamp hard over my wrist. 

"You don't have to put on a fake smile." Those words are like weights against my shoulders, and that smile slides so easily off my face as he lets go of my wrist.

"Stay still," I order him, but softly, ignoring the emotions he always brings forth in me, even when I was a genin. My team has tried so many times to unmask this man, we involved other village teams. We always failed. 

I've imagined him so many times with a bare face, but I've never taken the time to study his face - the parts he does show. His skin color is so soft and pale yellow with hues of olive tones peeking through, telling me if he wanted to. If he wore fewer layers, he would be just as bronze as Iruka-sensei. 

He has a sharp nose that is perfectly centered and long ashy colored lashes that sweep down to his cheekbones' high points with closed eyelids. His brows are thick with thin individual hairs that look soft; they are more silver than his actual hair.

Green chakra seeps into his skin, hues of purple start to slowly fade, and the taunt skin relaxes as the swelling goes down. I know I heard a crunch last night when I hit him, the edge of the cheekbone - it should be broken or cracked at least?

"Did you heal yourself?" I ask curiously. 

"Just the bone. I can't manipulate the finer details," he admits to me with open and honest eyes.

"Always surprising me." I chuckle at him as every bit of damage I caused him has faded physically. "Is there any damage under the mask?" 

"Still trying to unmask me?" his voice is a little lighter now, and it gives me hope we are okay now.

"I gave up that dream before the war. Just wanting to make sure everything is healed correctly. Also, I noticed something off with your chakra. I want to do a full-body scan if you will let me."

"I'm fine, Sakura," he tells me sternly, and my hand falls back to my side, a flair of uneasiness fills in the gap between us. He moves to stand up and keeps his eyes focused on me. 

"How long are we staying here?" changing the subject to a more comfortable topic.

"We leave tomorrow morning, now go relax. Tomorrow I'm going to teach you how to move properly, at my speed," and it sends a chill down my spine, igniting an exciting energy to learn something from him. I can't contain the feeling of my lips curling up in delight. 

* * *

"Come on, Sakura, lock onto it, and don't let go. Like when you devour sweets." Kakashi teases me as I struggle to keep pace with him; I'm out of breath and straining to put in practice what he told me. 

We've been on the road for over an hour, a worn-out path below our feet as we move through the air between tree branches. Kakashi is smooth and graceful as I stumble to keep my balance. I've never moved this fast, and it feels like the air itself is tearing against my skin and rushing the blood in my veins as it thumps louder and louder in my head. 

_ "Pool chakra into your chest, make it weigh you forward and let it seep out slowly backward, between your shoulder blades, controlled - allow it to propel you. Remember, Sakura - force equals mass times acceleration. The more control, the greater the force you can create, and the faster you'll move."  _

I look over to him to give him a glaring look, but his one showing eye just creases up as it shuts close, and I barely catch the stretch of fabric across his mouth as he grins.

"You do know I have to pool chakra even in my sleep just to keep my seal. I'm not an endless source like most notable clan members." I clip back to him, and he just chuckles at me. 

"Sakura, you have more than you know. We just need to expand it. It is possible to permanently grow it. Now recenter it and try it again."

I allow myself to slow a few paces behind him, tapping into some of my reserves. Focusing on feeding my chakra paths and allowing it to collect in my chest. Opening a tiny window against the pathways in my back, I let it seep out slowly. 

I can feel it again, the velocity propelling me forward. The imagery around me is blurs of faded colors before I catch sight of Kakashi aura and the trail he leaves behind himself for me to follow. 

I open the window more, and my brain can't register the speed as my body just moves on its accord. I keep focusing on his aura, though, letting it balance me. I try to reach my hand out to see if I can even tag him as I close in on him.

And he's just a hair breath out of reach - I open the window more. The velocity burns between my shoulder blades, like my pathway, is frying. Suddenly I'm projecting past him with clumsy control. Feet snagging against a thick tree branch and body twisting in mid-air as I try to correct my position but luck is having none of that. 

It doesn't matter though - familiar arms and fingers are pressing against me, cradling me against his chest with my head tucked his chin. 

"Very good, Sakura-chan. You almost had it, just a little more practice - but later." his voice washes over me, and the sound of him calling me that again makes me smile and break at the same time. My hands crawl up the front of my chest, reaching his shoulder, fingers gripping against his vest as I hold on tightly. 

The air against the exposed parts of my skin almost burns as he moves even faster. The distance between branches is becoming non-existent as if we are really flying. I never knew he could move this quickly when we did missions together. 

"Thank you, Kakashi," I whisper back softly to him, no intention that he would even hear me. Yet he does, one of his hands presses against my back harder in silence response to the way I say his name. 

Maybe we will be okay now. 

**Author's Note:**

> Feed the author's soul and leave a comment. You can follow me on tumblr:  
> https://theclassyfangirl.tumblr.com/


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